Observations of a brand new expat

 

Observations of a new expat

Last year, I decided to sell everything and move abroad. I had a great job offer and the opportunity to follow a life-long dream of living and working in a French speaking country. Moving to Belgium at the age of 57 has definitely challenged my perception of myself. Mostly positively, but also has revealed some things that I didn’t expect. I’ve lived here almost exactly a month now and these are the things I’ve observed about being here, some about the place, some about myself.

Speaking French

I love being able to speak French everyday. I’m in the French speaking part of the country. I graduated from college in 1990 with a degree in French. Now that I’m within spitting distance of paying off my school loans, I finally get to utilize all of that study and speak French every day. At first, I was timid about it and tried to find people that spoke English to help me. After almost four full weeks, I’ve gained some confidence and am braver about asking questions and trying to problem solve in another language.

One of the things I’ve noticed recently is that if I have a conversation with someone in French about something and then try to relay that information to my family in a conversation later, I have trouble recounting the conversation in English. Also, when I’m thinking about shopping or taking care of day-to-day chores like taking out the garbage, the words I use to myself are in French. I’m still not able to have a decent phone conversation in French. Maybe soon? 

I think it bodes well towards my goal of becoming fluent as part of my expat experience.

Comfort Zones

I’m WAY out of my comfort zone. I knew I would be pushing my boundaries a lot, but hadn’t realized that I would be knocking them down completely on an almost daily basis. I’m still not sure where they will be reconstructed. Everyday is an exercise in finding a new norm that may change a day later. 

Yesterday I took the train to Mechelen and wandered around the city. I found myself avoiding going to a restaurant, as I had planned, to have lunch because I wasn’t sure how the process worked. Do you go inside and find a host to seat you? Do you just sit down and wait to be noticed and served? Are there menus? I almost turned around and rode the train home hungry because I had so much anxiety around it. I finally ripped the band-aid off and sat down and had a lovely meal and survived the unknown. 

This is just a small example of the day-to-day things I’m learning to navigate here. It’s a growth process. But sometimes I miss having my comfortable limits.

Red tape

Red tape makes me crazy. The red tape and Bureaucracy here is challenging to say the least. My daughter keeps reminding me that people that immigrate to the states probably think the same thing about US processes. I try to keep that in mind when I run into one more thing I have to wait on or the next form that needs to be filled out.

The latest challenge has been around getting registered with the village. Immigrants to Belgium have to register their address with the city hall and have their residency verified by the police. Once that is done, then and only then, the national identity card with their national identity number is issued. Without the card and the number, I can’t open a bank account. My company is unable to pay me without the bank account so while I have a paycheck waiting for me, I can’t collect it as of yet.

Food

The food is amazing. Because I don’t yet have a car, I either shop when one my friends has time to drive me to the store, or I walk to the local smaller shops (which sadly are a bit too expensive as a long term solution) or I walk to the convenience store by the train station. 

Just a plug for the “convenience” store. This is not like the 7–11 my friends. It is a boutique grocery store with fresh produce, meat and baked goods and ready made single serving meals that can be heated in a microwave. And we aren’t talking about a Stouffers lasagna. They are dishes that are fresh, NOT full of preservatives and taste better than a meal you would get at a better fast casual place in the US. 

My favorite places so far have been the Fromaggerie (cheese shop) and the Boulangerie & Patisserie (bakery and pastry shop) in the village where I”m staying. The pastries are beautiful to look at and the croissants makes me feel like I’ve arrived in heaven. 

My favorite part of the stores here are that the bakery sections have loaves of bread and a self-serve slicing machine. So far my favorite is a whole-grain bread with pumpkin seeds in it.

Because I still don’t have a car, I’m getting a lot of walking and knitting time in. The walking has been great, even if I get tired of the limitations of only being able to go to places I can walk to. The first time I walked to the train station after I arrived, I was exhausted. Now after a month of walking everywhere, the train station feels like a brisk stroll before I do the next thing. 

In the evenings, I have been knitting a lot. While I have very dear friends here and they are fantastic and have been entertaining me a lot, the evenings I’m not with them I’ve been able to work through the projects I brought with me. Knitting has also helped me allay the anxieties related to the ever changing boundaries I had established for myself. As Elizabeth Zimmerman reminds us, “Properly practiced, knitting soothes the troubled spirit, and it doesn’t hurt the untroubled spirit either.”

I’m sure this is just the beginning of the new things I will find about myself and my new home. I’m appreciating the challenge of finding my balance in this new-to-me place.